A Preemie Prayer

A friend shared this prayer with us a few days ago. The first time we read it, I was holding Hattie and Melissa and I were in tears because it so eloquently expresses the feelings we have had over the past week. We felt it would be appropriate to post it here, seven days after Hattie was born.

God bless the little child behind the plastic wall for all she knows is the ringing of the bells and the blurred images around her. She has been taken from my womb without warning and I long to hold her in my arms.

Lord, I ask in your name that my child be healed. I am willing to accept your decision no matter what it will be. I am willing to take on the responsibilities for caring for this child. I am willing to give this child love and understanding no matter the cost.

Please Lord help me to accept reality and what has happened without explanation or warning. Help me face the fact that this is not my fault and that I was given a special task to complete here on Earth.

God give my child the strength to make it through another second, minute, hour and day as each moment is a blessing and a triumph from heaven.

God, may you give the strength and compassion to the caregivers and nurses that take care of my child. May you keep my child protected and free from all injury and pain.

Please take away the guilt and burden from my heart dear Lord. It is heavy and I feel it is all my fault. Take it away dear Lord. Sweet Jesus allow me the strength and understanding I need to communicate with the doctors and nurses.

As you see dear Lord, I am at your mercy for the life of my child. Please leave her here on Earth and know that I will provide all the love and understanding that this child needs. I accept the challenge and will be your humble servant dear Lord.

-- Author unknown

I had planned to post only this prayer tonight, but we also have some fantastic news to share. When we came to tuck miss Hattie in for the night after church, the nurse said it would be ok for Melissa to hold her. Melissa was so excited to hear that! As I write this, I am looking at my two girls peacefully resting in a chair. I am overflowing with joy.

Happy One Week Birthday! 1/13/13

Hattie is sleeping in on her one-week birthday. She deserves it!

Hattie is seven days old today. Just one week ago at 12:44 p.m., our sweet Hattie joined us earlier than expected, but right on time. This has been quite a week for us, and we're proud to say that our little girl is doing so well. We are amazed by her.

Hattie is such a drama queen; she decided she needed another day in the spotlight. Her bilirubin level dropped to a 4.7 this morning! That's great news and hopefully another day under the light will take it completely down. We got the amazing experience of holding her for two days in a row earlier this week and we're hooked. We just can't wait to hold her in our arms again.

Hattie's feedings are continuing to increase as planned. She had a little bit of residual this morning (think of it as leftovers in her tummy), but it is nothing to be alarmed about because she is pooping and not acting out in any other way.

Hattie had her brain ultrasound at 4:30 this morning. We will know the results in the next day or so. Please continue to pray that the scan comes back completely clear.

In the Spotlight 1/12/13

Each morning we call Hattie's nurse to get an update on her night. We were pleased to hear that Hattie would be eating more beginning today. She is up to 3 cc of milk every three hours. Tomorrow, she'll go up to 4 cc, the next day 5 cc and so on. We also learned that Hattie's bilirubin level went back up a bit to a 9 and that meant she would need the light again. We weren't too excited to hear that since it meant we couldn't hold our sweet baby today. Once we arrived at the NICU we were glad to see that at least she wasn't under the big blue light but rather a smaller white spotlight that is built into her bed. The light shines a perfectly round circle of bright white light on her. That's our little Hattie: such a diva in her spotlight!

Hattie had so many visitors today! Everyone has been so kind to bring us food and presents, spend time talking with us and taking time to visit with little miss Hattie. We so appreciate the kindness our dear friends and family have shown us this week. Our house smells like a florist and our fridge has never been so full.

Hattie's ultrasound on her brain will be done overnight tonight, likely around 4 a.m. We won't get the results for another day or so, but please continue to pray the results are completely clear and Hattie has no blood in her brain. The doctor told us that this is a normal scan for all preemie babies born before 32 weeks. Clinically they haven't seen any indication that Hattie has any issues, but the scan is nonetheless on our minds.

Please also pray that Hattie's bilirubin level goes down, she won't have to spend any more time under the spotlight and we can hold our sweet girl again soon!

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Today was the first day using our new camera.  After a long day of photos Hattie says, "no more paparazzi!"

No more paparazzi!

Our Little Foodie 1/11/13

Hattie had another great day!  Her feedings have increased from 1 cc of my milk every four hours to 2 cc every three hours.  She is tolerating her extra feedings well and pooping A LOT!  We saw her oxygen saturation at 100% several times today—she continues to breathe well on her own! We both got to kangaroo Hattie for several hours today and helped the nurses with taking her temperature and changing her diaper during her "hands on care" time.  I am overwhelmed by how much I love her.  Even writing this I'm at a complete loss for words on how to express how I feel. How can you love someone so little so much?

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Please pray Hattie continues to tolerate her extra feedings and will be able to decrease the amount of liquid nutrition she receives through her PICC line.

Please pray Hattie isn't in the "honeymoon phase" that is common for NICU babies. The nurses and Dr. Alexander have mentioned she could decline after her first week of life.  She's been doing so well that Chris and I are worried.  Please pray for Hattie to continue on a steady upward trend.  Please also pray that we give our worries to God.

Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall.

— Psalm 55:22

Kangaroo is Our Favorite Animal! 1/10/13

Hattie right before she was weighed.

We are so grateful we were both able to hold Hattie today! Four days felt like an eternity! We are also thankful for the amazing care Hattie is receiving in the NICU.  All of the nurses love her and tell us how "feisty" she is. I wonder who she gets that from... ;)

Hattie was weighed tonight. She weighs 1 lb 11 oz; she lost 2 oz since birth which is completely normal, even for a full term baby. She was not happy to be out of her cozy incubator but her reward was she got to kangaroo with daddy!!

Hattie on the scale.

Kangarooing with Daddy!

While Chris was holding Hattie I read her The Berenstain Bears Nursery Tales. Hattie now knows Goldilocks, The Red Hen and The Gingerbread Man.  Chris helped change Hattie's diaper tonight.  Hooray for more poop!

We had to force ourselves to leave the NICU at around 1:30 a.m.  It's extremely hard to break ourselves away from spending time with our sweet girl.