Opposite Day 3/11/13

Overnight Hattie ate 37 cc from a bottle at 1:30 a.m. and was gavage fed at 4:30 a.m. Hattie's feeds were opposite from usual today. She slept through both of her daytime hands-on times, usually the times when she is alert and rooting. She ate all but 9 cc from her bottle at 10:30 a.m. and then we kangarooed. I nursed her at 4:30 p.m. and she ate 10 cc and received the remaining 33 cc through her feeding tube. Hattie ate her whole bottle for me at 7:30 p.m. Chris was at work very, very late tonight so I got a little taste of single mommy hood. Chris got to the hospital as Hattie was falling asleep with 5 cc left in her 10:30 p.m. bottle. He held her for about thirty minutes and could hardly keep his eyes open so we decided we needed to go home to get some rest.

We are so happy Hattie is back to her sweet, spunky self. We do feel like she lost some momentum with her nipple feeding as a result of the fortifier change. Hopefully over the next few days she will regain her stamina and be able to eat more full bottles.

Hattie weighs 2,265 grams, or 4 pounds, 15.86 ounces. I can't believe our tiny baby is almost five pounds!

Thank you for celebrating Parents of Preemies Day with us yesterday. We participated in the Twitter chat and were encouraged by the hundreds of other preemie parents walking a similar journey. We also received several text messages and Facebook posts from family and friends--we appreciate your love and support so, so much.

No More Formula! 3/10/13

After a night of worrying about our baby girl, we arrived at the hospital this morning at 7:30. Hattie had a good night--clearly her three feedings without any additives had made a huge difference. But it was only those three feedings and she was now back to the formula fortified milk. She was starting to get stopped up again. As a way of getting around the "tainted" milk, Melissa breastfed Hattie at 7:30 a.m. and she ate 14 of her 43 cc. Hopefully that little bit would help to reduce the amount of the formula in her system. Hattie seemed to get worse as the day progressed. She clearly needed to poop and kept groaning from all of her tummy pain. At one point she was pushing so hard that she spit up. That's not something she normally does and it reinforced our feeling that something was wrong. Our hearts were broken that our little girl was in pain and there was nothing we could do to make her feel better. Almost out of instinct, Melissa picked her up out of her bed and just hugged her.

Nurse Kristi had a couple of extra tricks up her sleeve and helped us move Hattie's legs and rub her belly. It worked! Hattie was able to poop and almost instantly felt better. Kristi also went to find Dr. McMahan who had given the temporary orders yesterday. She asked him to permanently switch her from the Neosure 22 back to the human milk fortifier that she was previously on. He agreed and we instantly switched her to new milk. No more formula!

By 7:30 p.m. Hattie was back to the bottle for the rest of the day. She never quite finished any of them but we could tell she was feeling much better.

Hattie weighs 2,226 grams, or 4 lb., 14.5 oz. She grew to 43 cm. (17 in.) long.

It's hard to believe the formula that was such a small part of her feeding caused this, but the nurses say they've seen it before. And it goes to show that every little thing matters with these fragile babies in the NICU.

Thank you, God, for making our little baby feel better.

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Parents of Preemies Day

Chris and I have been parents for 63 days. On the day Hattie was born we weren't expecting to become parents for at least another three months, but God had other plans for our family. The last 63 days have been the hardest and longest days of our life but we wouldn't change a thing and we are happier than ever. We have been rewarded with such a beautiful gift. Becoming Hattie's parents has been the biggest blessing! We choose happiness. It would be easy to pout and complain and say we never want to have another baby because this is just too hard. It would be easy to feel like a victim and ask God "why me?"  We choose to sing the praises of our God who knit Hattie together in my womb and deliver her to us in His perfect timing. We choose to be joyful for all of the wonderful things Hattie has accomplished no matter how big or small. We choose to celebrate the fact that we get fourteen extra weeks with our baby girl. We are embracing being parents of a preemie because we trust that this is God's plan for us.

Tomorrow, Sunday, March 10, Grahams Foundation is bringing the preemie community together for their second annual Parents of Preemies Day. Parents of Preemies Day is a national day of awareness recognizing the courage and commitment it takes to stay strong and resilient when the birth of a tiny premature baby turns a family's world upside down.

Each year, 13 million babies are born prematurely to parents who never expected their birth stories would be so challenging. Though medical breakthroughs continue to improve outcomes for preemies, experts are only now beginning to understand the intense psychological effects that premature birth has on moms and dads.

Our little family will be celebrating together in the NICU and we're going to participate in their worldwide Twitter chat at 2:00 p.m. EST @ #parentsofpreemiesday.

Rumbly Tummy 3/9/13

With the exception of her 1:30 a.m., 27 cc bottle, Hattie slept through all of her feedings today. We're pretty sure the Neosure 22 formula that was added to her milk a few days ago is doing something funky to her system. We talked about this with Nurse Kristi and decided that we are going to give it until Monday and talk to Dr. Alexander if she still isn't herself. But as the day progressed, we decided that the change in her milk had to be the cause for her discomfort. Melissa kangarooed with her and she was very restless the whole time. We couldn't wait until Monday. Kristi talked to a different doctor who agreed to temporarily change Hattie's orders. For the next three feeds, Hattie would be on straight breast milk with no extra fortifiers added.

She did end up pooping once in the afternoon and it definitely made her feel better, at least for the moment. It was a big one, so we had to bag it to keep the paint from peeling off the walls. You would think that a unit with more than 100 babies would have a Diaper Genie...

Moin came to visit this afternoon to spend some time with her little namesake. She saw Hattie's 1:30 p.m. hands-on time and got to hold her hand and help keep her pacifier in. This was the first time Moin had seen Hattie in her bassinet instead of her Isolette and she loved seeing her so up close and accessible.

A lactation nurse came to consult with Melissa while she breastfed Hattie right after her hands-on, so Moin and I headed downstairs to give them some privacy. Moin met some other ladies who were waiting on their granddaughter to be born. One of them was knitting a pink hat and before she left she gave it to Moin for Hattie. I love how Moin makes friends wherever she goes.

Moin took us to a nice afternoon dinner and when we returned we found a calmer Hattie, hopefully as a result of the additive-free milk. Even still, we let her eat through her tube so she could rest. She weighs 2,217 grams or 4 lb., 13.53 oz. I kangarooed with her and she was calmer than during the day, but I could still feel her tense up from time to time as she worked on getting her system cleared out.

It's not the first time, but perhaps now more than ever we are praying for poop. In the past we've prayed because the doctors told us she needed it for one reason or another. This time we feel helpless as our little girl has a tummy ache and doesn't even know what that is.

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God's Not Dead 3/8/13

I called Nurse Jen at 5:00 a.m. to check in on Hattie. Mostly I was wondering if she pooped. She hadn't. It is crazy how someone else's pooping schedule is keeping me up at night. Hattie woke up to eat at 1:30 a.m. but only took 9 cc. Nurse Jen could tell Hattie wasn't feeling well and was surprised she didn't take her bottle. I got to the hospital for Hattie's hands-on time at 7:30 a.m. Hattie started off the morning right and pooped! She nursed and ate 20 cc. We kangarooed for several hours and both rested.

Hattie's stooling pattern has been very different since she was switched to the Neosure formula fortifier. Dr. Alexander said it will take her body a few days to get used to the formula so we're trying to be patient. By the afternoon she was extremely uncomfortable again. I spent almost an hour huddled over her bed holding her little legs against the side of her belly in the frog position. She would push against my hands with her feet and I would push back trying to help her work it out. It was terrible.

She took a little over half of three more bottles today but didn't finish any. Hattie really isn't acting like herself. Hattie enjoyed kangarooing with her daddy tonight.  We are trying to do everything we can to make our baby feel better.

Hattie weighs 2,198 grams, or 4 pounds, 13.53 ounces.

As I was driving to the hospital this morning I heard a song that has been replaying in my head all day.

My God's not dead / He's surely alive / He's living on the inside / Roaring like a lion (Newsboys)

It is clear that God's presence is shining through Hattie. I love you more and more each day sweet girl.

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