I Get To Be The One 3/17/13

March 17, 2013Chris

Last Sunday, on Parents of Preemies Day, I stumbled across a song on Spotify while listening to music in Hattie's hospital room. It was special because the lyrics are so appropriate to how we feel, especially on that day.

"I get to be the one" by JJ Heller
Well hello, Little baby. Your eyes have never seen the sun You should know Little baby That I am the lucky one
I get to be the one to hold your hand I get to be the one. Through birthdays and broken bones I'll be there to watch you grow I get to be the one.
Don't feel alone now, Little baby. Do you hear me singing you a song I can't wait to show you Little baby How to crawl How to walk And how to run
I get to be the one to hold your hand I get to be the one. Through birthdays and broken bones I'll be there to watch you grow I get to be the one.

When I first played the song for Melissa, we both nearly cried: we are lucky and blessed to get to be Hattie's parents. This song has become a sort of theme for us and we listened to it throughout the week just about any time we weren't at the hospital. Even when we're not listening to the song we notice that we often hum the tune and sing it to Hattie.

Hattie is 10 weeks old today. She celebrated the occasion by trying on her new blue jeans (newborn size, not preemie!). She looked so stylish and of course Melissa and I played the role of paparazzi and took tons of pictures.

I kangarooed with Hattie this afternoon, again enjoying a nice afternoon nap with my little girl. She weighs 2,424 grams or 5 lbs., 5.5 oz. She is 43.5 cm. or 17.13 in. long. Her feedings continue to get better. Of her eight feeds, she ate three full feeds from the bottle, ate a couple of partial bottles and breastfed part of her 1:30 p.m. feed.

People keep telling us how strong we are. Thank you sincerely for the compliment, but we don't think we're doing anything special. We are caring for our daughter in the best way we know how. We are loving her with all of our might. Of course we are tired, utterly exhausted, worried and anxious. But mostly we are thankful. We are thankful for God's plan and His purpose. We are thankful He is our God and can be trusted. We are thankful for each other, our strong support system, our faith and especially for Hattie. She has taught us so much about love over the last two months that it's unexplainable. She has taught us to relinquish control and enjoy every single tiny thing that life throws at us. Hattie is amazing and we are excited to see what God has in store for her.

categories Hattie Updates

Our Turn for Eye Exams 3/16/13

March 16, 2013Chris

Just a couple of weeks after Hattie's stellar eye exam, Melissa and I had a joint eye appointment at 10:00 this morning. The experience took longer than we expected since we both had to get dilated and Melissa had to order new glasses. As the doctor was putting the dilation drops in our eyes we couldn't help but think about our baby girl; we knew what was happening but when Hattie's eyes were dilated she had no idea. Two and a half hours later, we were finally done and chowed down on some Chick-fil-A as we rushed to the hospital, barely able to make it there in time for Hattie's 1:30 p.m. hands-on and feeding time. I kangarooed with Hattie in the afternoon and we both enjoyed a much needed nap. This has been a long week at work and I'm pretty tired—apparently tired enough that Hattie and I were both caught sleeping with our mouths open and snoring. But any embarrassment was outweighed by how great we felt afterward.

Hattie's feedings went well today and she is steadily improving how often she eats from the bottle. She ate full bottles at 1:30 a.m., 7:30 a.m., 1:30 p.m. and 10:30 p.m. Her other four feeds were through her tube. When she does eat from the bottle, she usually eats the whole thing which is a great sign. As she continues to develop, her stamina will increase and she will want her bottle more often. Of course, we aren't lost on the fact that we are going on her timing and this is not the first time Hattie will be in charge!

categories Hattie Updates, Photos

Hibernating Hattie 3/14/13

March 14, 2013Melissa

Hattie has been pretty sleepy all day. She left 11 cc in her 1:30 a.m. bottle. She slept through her 4:30 a.m. feeding and her 7:30 a.m. hands-on time. She opened her eyes for her 10:30 a.m. feed but didn't really wake up and wasn't cueing. Chris says she is hibernating. We kangarooed and Hattie was pretty restless for about thirty minutes but I put her music on and sang to her and she finally settled down, though I'm not sure if she closed her eyes because my voice was soothing her or if it was because she wanted me to stop singing. Kangarooing is the ultimate relaxation for both of us. I love feeling her warm breath and little belly going in and out on my chest.

Hattie ate all but 3 cc of her 1:30 p.m. bottle. The nurse gave her credit for finishing the entire thing. She slept through her 4:30 p.m feeding.

My good friend Kelly came to visit us this afternoon and I loved having the company and catching up with her. And I loved that Kelly kept calling Hattie magnificent. Hattie just slept through all of our girl talk.

Our little bear cub came out of hibernation and ate her whole bottle for me at 7:30 p.m. We snuggled for a few minutes afterward while Chris was getting ready to kangaroo. It was so hard to give her up! While Chris and Hattie were kangarooing she pulled out her feeding tube for the second night in a row. Doesn't she look cool with her tube mustache?

When Chris put her back she, as Chris put it, cried very loud because she was hungry. It must have been true because Hattie ate her whole bottle in 15 minutes. She would've eaten more if he had given it to her.

Hattie continues to gain weight and now weighs 2,348 grams or 5 pounds, 2.8 ounces.

categories Hattie Updates, Photos

The Stinkachoo 3/13/13

March 13, 2013Melissa

Hattie ate a full bottle overnight after her 1:30 a.m. hands-on time and was gavage fed at 4:30 a.m. Hattie slept through her 7:30 hands-on time and her 10:30 feed this morning. When breastfeeding, we rely on a scale to tell us how much Hattie eats. We have to weigh her before she eats and then again right after. The milk weighs 1 gram per 1 cc, so we know how much she ate by taking the difference of the two weights. After I nursed her at 1:30 p.m. the scale first read she gained 16 grams and then read she gained 118 grams! We weighed her for a third time and a 118 gram gain flashed across the scale. Imagine the look on our faces. There's clearly something wrong with that scale because it's impossible she could've eaten that much! So we took the first reading and assumed Hattie ate (a more possible) 16 cc.

Chris came to the hospital early today so we could take the infant massage class. The developmental specialist gave us several techniques to massage each area of Hattie's body. We practiced on baby dolls to help us learn the strokes. Even though we could barely keep our eyes open, we learned some things that should be good for Hattie when she comes home. Thankfully we were provided a handout so we can revisit it once Hattie is big enough to handle a massage.

After the class, Chris and I took advantage of having a few extra daylight hours together and went on a dinner date to Jason's Deli. Any place with free soft serve ice cream is alright in our book.

Hattie didn't wake up for her 4:30 p.m. feed. She took her whole bottle for me at 7:30 p.m. and then Chris and Hattie kangarooed. She was fed through her tube at 10:30 p.m.

During kangaroo care, Hattie pulled out her feeding tube. When we put her back in her bed, Nurse Jen carefully threaded the tube back through her nose. This, of course, made Hattie sneeze. But it wasn't a normal sneeze: it also came with a toot. Chris has coined this as a stinkachoo. The whole thing made me laugh out loud. I guess Hattie didn't like that I laughed at her because her bottom lip instantly popped out to make a pouty face. It was so cute to see her pout for the first time!

We spent a long time talking to Jen and Maria tonight. We are fortunate to have such wonderful primary nurses who really love Hattie ... and us. They tried to put our minds at ease about Hattie's eating progress by letting us know that this is the hardest part for parents and reminded us that Hattie is just acting her age.

Hattie weighs 2,311 grams or 5 pounds, 1.5 ounces.

categories Hattie Updates, Photos

Five Pounds! 3/12/13

March 12, 2013Melissa

Hattie hit 5 pounds! She weighs 2,298 grams, or 5 pounds, 1.06 ounces. When she was born weighing 1 pound, 13 ounces it was hard to imagine she would ever weigh five pounds. We are so proud of our little piglet. Hattie slept through her last two feedings yesterday. She ate her whole bottle at 7:30 a.m. She took a break at 10:30 a.m. and then for her 1:30 p.m. feed she was ready to eat! She nursed and ate 20 cc! We kangarooed all afternoon and it was lovely.

Dr. Alexander said Hattie looks wonderful! He said we expect a little more from her because of her weight and we have to remind ourselves her brain is still immature. He won't be concerned about her inconsistent nippling for another two weeks when she is 37 weeks and considered full term. He apologized profusely to me and to Hattie for the problems she had with the formula fortifier. It's normal course of business for babies to switch to the formula fortifier prior to going home because the formula is much cheaper and easier to obtain outside of the NICU.

I spent quite some time today arguing with insurance about my breast pump. I am supposed to use a hospital-grade pump because of how often I have to pump. The hospital provides a grant pump until Hattie reaches 34 weeks and then payment for the rental is supposed to go to insurance. My doctor wrote a prescription for a hospital-grade breast pump but my insurance denied it because "it isn't medically necessary." Thankfully the hospital is letting me keep the grant pump until insurance sorts everything out. I sure hope this isn't foreshadowing any insurance issues in our future!

Hattie ate her entire bottle for Chris at 7:30 p.m. They kangarooed tonight; Chris slept very soundly (I think he's still catching up from his extremely long day at work yesterday) and Hattie was a little restless. She wasn't in the mood to eat so she got her 10:30 p.m. feed through her feeding tube.