Murmur 2/20/13
Melissa
Dr. Alexander saw Hattie today. As always he listened to her heart and lungs. Usually he places his stethoscope in two or three different places and is done in less than 20 seconds. I could tell something was different today. He moved his stethoscope around a lot and listened to her much longer. As it turns out, Dr. A heard a small heart murmur. He explained what he heard and then rattled off a laundry list of things it could be: it could be Patent Ductus Arteriosus, it could be a tiny hole in the bottom chamber of her heart, it could mean the pulmonary vessels are very narrow and not pushing blood through properly, or it could be an innocent heart murmur. So, he decided to call for an echocardiogram, an ultrasound of her heart. He assured me I shouldn't worry and this is all part of the preemie process. I nodded along with him and said "uh huh" several times but I wasn't really listening. All I could think in my head was, "please God don't let something be wrong with my sweet girl's tiny heart!" Dr. A again assured me I shouldn't worry (even after leaving the room he quickly returned to reassure me once more). Hattie has not been symptomatic and I trust that if something was wrong with her heart we would've caught it sooner than now, 45 days into her life.
I called Chris and then leaned on my sister-in-law Valerie. I am thankful for Valerie; she has a calming sense about her and always knows the right thing to say. She encouraged me to pray, to try not to worry and urged me to not Google anything.
I ran downstairs and forced myself to eat a quick lunch. When I got back to Hattie's room the ultrasound tech was just finishing setting up. It had only been about 40 minutes since Dr. A saw Hattie so I was surprised she were there to do the ultrasound so quickly. The machine was huge and taking up almost all of Hattie's room. Hattie was lying undressed in her bed and the tech had used blankets to pin her arms behind her back.
Hattie was very brave and patient during the ultrasound. It took almost an hour because they take a very thorough look at the heart from multiple angles. I just stood there staring at the monitor fighting back tears and praying. The tech sat with a stone face and rubbed her teeny tiny probe all around on Hattie's chest. I was watching Hattie's little heart beat on the screen and was staring at all of the different pictures like I knew what I was supposed to be looking for. The ultrasound is painless but Hattie began to get restless toward the end because her feed was almost an hour late. I'm so glad I was with Hattie during the ultrasound so I could hold her paci and talk to her to try to soothe her.
Please pray there is nothing wrong with Hattie's heart and the murmur is not an issue. We must remember our faith is bigger than our fear.
Hattie is beginning to show cues when she's getting hungry like sticking out her tongue, sucking aggressively on her paci and opening and closing her mouth. Nurse April thinks Hattie is getting close to being ready to breastfeed for real! We did our upgraded nuzzle again today and Hattie did great. Of course, this could've been because her feed was over an hour late and she was practically starving. She wore herself out during the feed and that made for good kangaroo nap time. When April checked for residual before Hattie's next feed there were 9 cc left in her belly. We're not sure if the residual is because she was so off schedule or if she actually ate some milk while we were nuzzling.
Hattie weighs 1,742 grams or 3 pounds, 14.2 ounces. We're narrowing in on the 4 pound milestone! Chris and Hattie kangarooed tonight. I love the time we get together in the evenings as a family. After about 9 p.m. it gets very quiet in the NICU; there aren't a lot of other parents around, the nurses are busy charting and the administrative staff are all gone for the day. There is definitely joy and comfort in the silence.
